5 Principles for Dating

By Anthony Vandagriff

Whether or not you are in a relationship or seeking a relationship, there are likely times when you may not know what to do or you may question why things aren’t going so hot.  At that point, it’s good to go back to make sure you are staying true to some solid principles.  There are lots of tips you can use for dating but five principles came to my mind when thinking about this.  I’ve learned a thing or two in my dating experience that would have been helpful to me at the start.

1. Be yourself

Things that we read, hear, and see tend to influence our thinking way too much.  Everyone has seen a chick flick and you can probably think of that perfect guy or girl illustrated in the films.  Remember that’s just a character, not a real person.  Sometimes we try so hard to act like that guy or girl in the movies that we forsake who we are.  We mess up because we cannot execute the perfect role or we get someone to fall for us and then they see who we really are and we get dumped.  Chances are you will fall short of the perfect individual and that special someone will realize you’re a fraud.  People see the movies, they read the books, and they know these ideal people but they may not know you.  By being yourself you reveal something new and different which may just be the thing that intrigues the one you admire.

2. Try to build a friendship not a relationship

Too often we think of the lovey dovey stuff and how hot the person of our dreams may be, when in actuality, we should consider compatibility.  Looks fade and so do those early stage emotions.  I promise you will get annoyed with someone if you only date them for looks.  If you want a great relationship, establish a great friendship.  Focus on having a good time.  Don’t feel pressured during a date to try and sweep the person off their feet, just have fun.  It’s a lot easier to add the boy or the girl when you already have the friend.

3. Don’t rush it

I’ve talked to people and heard them say if such and such doesn’t happen after so many months I’m leaving them.  For some reason people have this idea that certain things must happen at a certain time or things aren’t right.  Don’t rush things and put a time on things.  The first real girl I dated growing up, was someone that I just talked to for five months before asking her to officially be mine.  On top of that, I was seventeen.  It’s dumb to think you have to be in a relationship by the time your twelve or that you have two weeks to decide to date someone.  Take your time and remember good things come to those who wait.

4. Don’t make comparisons

The Bible tells us not to compare ourselves with others; it tells us that is not wise to do.  When you think some guy or girl is better than you and you can’t compete, you only hurt yourself.  Believe it or not, every girl doesn’t want the pro athlete and every guy doesn’t want the head cheerleader.  So who cares that you’re only good at certain things and terrible at others?  You’re you and that is something unique that no one else can copy.

5. Keep Jesus at the center

I saved the best for last because if you do this, you’ll have much better relationships.  Many times we forsake God when we pursue or are in a relationship. If we prayed twenty minutes a day before, we may start praying ten minutes a week.  That’s the worst thing you can do.  Always keep Jesus as your number one because He will do the same for you.  If you need advice, peace, or a break; you’ll be amazed what consistent communication with Jesus can do for you.  If you are with the wrong person, He will tell you and He will let you know if you’re with the right person.  If you’ll stay faithful to Jesus and commit to prayer daily, you’ll become more like Jesus and that will help you treat people right, which will result in you being better in relationships.  So don’t let that guy or girl step in front of Jesus.